The Religious Purpose of Accepting a Wife
In the Vedic culture, accepting a wife is a sacred samskara, or reformatory process, designed to elevate a human being from the animal platform to the spiritual platform. Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that marriage is not intended for unrestricted sense gratification but is a religious responsibility. The husband accepts a wife to establish a center for Kṛṣṇa consciousness at home, where both can cooperate to make spiritual progress.
The Necessity of a Son (Putra)
According to Vedic injunctions, the primary purpose of accepting a wife is putra-piṇḍa-prayojanam—to beget a son. Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that a son is necessary to offer oblations (piṇḍa) to the forefathers, ensuring their deliverance from hellish conditions.
- The purpose of accepting a wife in religious marriage, as sanctioned in the Vedas, is to have a putra, a son qualified to deliver his father from the darkest region of hellish life.
- A son is required . . . why one should accept a wife for begetting son? Putra-pinda-prayojanam. According to Vedic dharma the pinda-dana, offering pinda, oblations to the forefather, putra is pun-namno narakad yasmat trayate iti putrah.
- According to the Vedic injunctions, one must accept a wife just to beget a son who can deliver one from the clutches of Yamaraja. Unless one has a son to offer oblations to the pitas, or forefathers, one must suffer in Yamaraja's kingdom.
- One has to accept a wife because a wife will produce children, and the children in their turn will offer foodstuffs and funeral ceremonies so that the forefathers, wherever they may live, will be made happy.
The Wife as a Partner in Dharma
A wife is described as the "better half" of the husband because she shares in the responsibility of executing religious duties. When a man accepts a qualified wife, she becomes his assistant in all aspects of life—religion, economic development, and liberation—helping him to advance towards the ultimate goal.
- The wife is the cause of all kinds of success in religion, economic development, sense gratification and ultimately salvation. When one accepts a wife, it is to be understood that he is being helped in his progressive march toward liberation.
- By the Vedic injunction, the wife is accepted as the better half of a man's body because she is supposed to be responsible for discharging half of the duties of the husband.
- For a grhamedhi, to accept a wife means to satisfy the senses, but for a grhastha a qualified wife is an assistant in every respect for advancement in spiritual activities.
- There is no harm in accepting a wife and living without any disturbance of the mind and thus sincerely advancing in Krishna Consciousness.
Regulation of Sense Gratification
The acceptance of a wife marks the transition from the brahmacārī stage to the gṛhastha stage. However, this is not a license for licentiousness. Śrīla Prabhupāda strictly warns that a wife should never be accepted merely as an instrument for satisfying lust, as this leads to a bewildered intelligence and degradation.
- Neither wife should be accepted as a machine for satisfying our lust. The marriage tie should be taken as very sacred. One who marries for subduing lust is mistaken. Because lust cannot be satisfied simply by indulging in sense gratification.
- When a man becomes qualitatively like the cats and dogs, he forgets his duties in cultivating spiritual values, and thus he accepts his wife as a sense gratificatory agency.
- At a certain stage, say between 20-25 years, one may accept a wife, live with her to the maximum age of 50 years, and then there should be no more sex relationship - stringently.
- When the wife is accepted as a sense gratificatory agency, personal beauty is the main consideration, and as soon as there is a break in personal sense gratification, there is disruption or divorce.
The Ideal Example
The behavior of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Rāmacandra, sets the ideal standard for civilized society. He accepted only one wife, Sītā, and remained faithful to Her, teaching the principle of eka-patnī-vrata (vow of having one wife), despite the custom of polygamy that existed for kṣatriya kings in those days.
- Lord Ramacandra took a vow to accept only one wife and have no connection with any other women.
- Eka-patni-vrata, accepting only one wife, was the glorious example set by Lord Ramacandra. One should not accept more than one wife. In those days, of course, people did marry more than one wife.
- Even Lord Ramacandra's father accepted more wives than one. But Lord Ramacandra, as an ideal king, accepted only one wife, mother Sita.
- To teach a lesson on sex life to devotees and to human society in general, Lord Sri Ramacandra, although the Supreme Personality of Godhead Himself, underwent a series of tribulations because He accepted a wife, mother Sita.
Conclusion
Accepting a wife is a serious responsibility in the Vedic social system, meant to foster spiritual growth and social stability. It is a calculated step to produce good progeny for the benefit of family and society, and to regulate the natural propensities of the senses. When a wife is accepted under religious principles and treated as a partner in dharma, the home becomes a sanctuary for cultivation of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, rather than a place of entanglement.
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Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Accepting a Wife. We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.