Qualities of the Ideal Wife
In the Vedic social system, the stability of family life and the spiritual progress of society depend heavily on the character of women. Śrīla Prabhupāda describes the "ideal wife" not as a subordinate, but as a "better half" who fully shares in her husband's life. The standard for an ideal wife is absolute chastity and the willingness to stand by her husband in all conditions—prosperity or poverty, happiness or distress. This dedication creates a harmonious relationship comparable to that of Lakṣmī and Nārāyaṇa.
Accepting All Circumstances
The primary test of an ideal wife is her steadfastness. Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that a wife's faithfulness is proved when she accepts her husband's difficulties as her own. She does not seek separation when her husband's financial or social status declines; rather, she abides by him. This quality makes her a true companion.
- Ideal wife must be prepared to accept any circumstances of the husband. Not that when the husband is rich the wife is faithful, & when he has come down to be poor or he's going to forest wife gives up his company. Wife means better half. She must abide.
- This is ideal wife. She (Sita) could have refused, "Oh, Your father has ordered to go to forest. You can go. I shall go to my father's house or I shall remain here." No. This is ideal wife. She must be prepared to accept any circumstances of the husband.
The Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa Standard
The relationship between husband and wife is meant to mirror the divine couple, Lakṣmī and Nārāyaṇa. In this dynamic, Śrīla Prabhupāda notes that the husband acts as an ideal servant of the Supreme Lord, and the wife acts as the goddess of fortune, assisting him. When this spiritual hierarchy is maintained, the home becomes a sanctuary, and both partners advance toward the ultimate goal.
- A man should be an ideal servant of the Lord, and a woman should be an ideal wife like the goddess of fortune. Then both husband and wife will be so faithful and strong that by acting together they go back to Godhead, without a doubt.
- An ideal husband and wife are generally called Laksmi-Narayana to compare them to the Lord and the goddess of fortune, for it is significant that Laksmi-Narayana are forever happy as husband and wife.
- She (Mother Laksmiji) is an ideal wife because she takes care of Lord Narayana in every detail. She takes care not only of His lotus feet but of the household affairs of the Lord as well.
Exemplary Figures in History
Vedic history is replete with examples of ideal wives who set the standard for civilization. Sītā Devī is the foremost example, having renounced royal comfort to accompany Lord Rāma into the forest. Similarly, Gāndhārī is celebrated as an ascetic wife (tapasvinī) who voluntarily accepted blindness to share the fate of her husband, Dhṛtarāṣṭra. Śrīla Prabhupāda also highlights Devahūti as another prime example of a sādhvī (chaste woman) who served the sage Kardama Muni with great affection.
- As Lord Ramacandra is the ideal husband (eka-patni-vrata), mother Sita is the ideal wife. Such a combination makes family life very happy. Yad yad acarati sresthas tat tad evetaro janah: whatever example a great man sets, common people follow.
- Saubalini, or Gandhari, daughter of King Subala and wife of King Dhrtarastra, was ideal as a wife devoted to her husband. The Vedic civilization especially prepares chaste and devoted wives, of whom Gandhari is one amongst many mentioned in history.
- There are many good qualities in Mahabharata about Gandhari. Therefore she is described here as tapasvini. Tapasvini. Very chaste, faithful wife. Ideal wife.
- She (Devahuti) served him (Kardama Muni) with great love and affection, and she knew how to please him. Therefore, she is designated here (SB 3.23.1) as sadhvi, which means "a chaste, faithful wife." Her rare example is the ideal of Vedic civilization.
Conclusion
The ideal wife is the backbone of a spiritual family. By following the examples of great souls like Sītā and Gāndhārī, a woman elevates not only herself but her entire family. When a wife is dedicated to her husband's service, and the husband is dedicated to the Lord's service, the home becomes, as Śrīla Prabhupāda assures, a place of liberation, free from the anxieties of material existence.
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Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Ideal Wife. We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.